And they call it Puppy Love ....

Today I found a 'LOVE' letter. I hasten to add that it wasn't in my husband's jeans, car or anything to do with my husband, in fact, it was in  7 year old daughter's bedroom.  Today I got the urge to clean her room, a task I don't particularly like and one I don't do very often (between us.. I normally  lie down until the urge passes).  Childrens' bedrooms can be dangerous places. My daughter loves to draw, paint and play with lego so walking  from the door to the window to open the curtains is like a minefield, especially if you stand on tinsy, winsy pieces of lego.

I geared myself up, made sure I had my protective clothing on (my slippers) and made a run for it.  Thankfully I was only attacked by some green and pink glitter which (to be honest) have 'pimped'  my slippers.  Whilst in 'there', I decided to had a little tidy and that is when I came across IT....

It started off with a love heart surrounded by kisses and went something like this...

"Her name is Pearl.    
She seems to have a way with eating.
She loves going for walks.
She loves her Mother very much.
She loves her toys.

I read down through the first 5 lines and thought... 'my 7 year old daughter is in love with a girl, who has an eating disorder, is athletic, family orientated, playful and imaginative'.

Before I reached for my childcare/ Supernanny esque book on how to deal with your child's first crush, I read the last line.

"She is a dog but it does not matter even if she is from Cork."
.
...and then my heart melted as I realised it was about her dog.  I'm not sure what she means by the line 'even if she is from Cork' as I'm quite sure she has nothing against anyone from Cork.

When she arrived home from school I asked her about it and she told me that Pearl 'the dog' was her best friend.

Clearly I'm going to have to start singing 'Diamonds are a girl's best friend" a little louder.

Time to say goodbye?

MINE IS NOT FOR SALE-SHE IS LOVELY

Dear B,
When I first met 'A' 18 years ago, I was told by my friends that his Mum always invited new girlfriends to the house for tea and biscuits and a 'chat'.  The thought filled me with dread.  Finally after a few weeks of 'courting' 'A' brought me home one Friday evening to meet 'the' parents and instead of tea and biscuits you offered me a glass of whiskey and a packet of crisps.  I didn't (and still don't) drink whiskey but I did that night as I was a guest and you did offer (just thinking maybe it was a test?).   Immediately you made me feel at ease telling me all about Mrs. such and such, who was the cousin of such and such and was married to such and such, who was the son of such and such....

Over the years we've had our ups and downs.  I'll never forget your face when I told you A didn't know what a cheese grater was.  Firstly, I think you were shocked I was feeding him pasta (He was always used to meat and three veg-proper dinners as you call them) and secondly you were horrified I was making him help cook his own dinner.  It was probably the one and only times you didn't join me in a fit of giggles.  You did however try and make your own Lasagne the following week and couldn't understand why it didn't taste the same (It was the gravy granules-you don't put gravy granules in Lasagne).

Your son can do no wrong in your eyes and when I nagged him for getting 'another' parking ticket, you looked at me with such a serious face and informed me that it wasn't his fault and that it was a stupid place to put double yellow lines.  The glare said it all...'leave my son alone'.

You minded  'R' when I went back to work after my maternity and there was a difference of opinion 'to swaddle or not to swaddle'.  I wanted things done by the latest childcare book and you often reminded me that you had four children that had turned out perfectly healthy so you were obviously doing something right!

We both love getting our cards read, mediums and as 'A' calls it hocus pocus.  Remember the time we went to the Helix and chatted continuously about made up people in the hope that John Edwards would pick one of us.  He didn't.  You promised me that day that if there was anything after life, you would come back and tell me.

In August we went to a family wedding and we sneaked off to the bedroom to watch Coronation street. We had a lovely chat and when I poured out some of my 'woes' you reminded me 'There is nothing you can't get out of except a graveyard" and you were right.

Last week we got the most unexpected devastating news that you have 2 brain tumours and that there is nothing the Doctors can do.  According to them our time is limited to a few weeks.  We haven't told you because we don't want you to be scared.  It's been so hard watching your husband, daughters and son getting upset.  Your not my Mother and I am not your daughter so I feel I have to put on the brave face and keep spirits up  (that's why I wore the Santy hat and the Christmas earrings in to see you and it's also why I have been regaling you will silly jokes and funny stories - I haven't 'lost it' just yet).  I

I do believe in miracles and I'm hoping there will be one.  I'm hoping that this time next year we'll be sitting around listening to you go on and on about how we nearly had you dead and buried.

Mother in Laws often get a bad name..Monster-in-Law.

To me your so much more than Mother in Law.

Thank you for being my friend. xxx

MAMflu

I don't know if you've seen the disturbing interview with the man who had Manflu and his wife.  If not, you can view it here.  WARNING - This clip may contain scenes that some viewers may find disturbing.

'Manflu' is a serious and deadly strain of the flu virus.

I found it quite worrying and issued a warning on my facebook page declaring the household a NO Manflu zone.  Imagine my shock and devastation when I returned home early on Sunday morning after spending the evening away to find my 'poor' husband sniffling, coughing and achy.  I was already to dash out and take part in the recording of the #twitterxmassingle  but obviously I couldn't leave the invalid.

My 7 year old daughter was staying with her grandparents and my son was happily playing his Xbox so I decided to play 'the dutiful wife' (between us I was more of a 'desperate' one, as I couldn't face another week of sickness in the house.Last week both my son and daughter were ill).

I sat at the edge of the bed and sympathised with him, told him that I knew exactly how he felt as I felt the same way.  Now as I'm sure you all know women cannot catch 'manflu'.  Unfortunately for me I realised I had contracted the mutant strain of 'manflu'.....'mamflu'. When he coughed, I coughed louder, when he sniffled, I sniffled louder and when he moaned, I groaned.  I developed a headache and had to lie down.  When he asked for a 'lemsip' (in his croaky voice), I croaked back saying I would if I could but was too weak to move.

Finally after 30 minutes he realised he wasn't going to get any sleep or rest, he got up to make himself a lemsip and one for me also.  I suggested we call my Mam (his Mother in law) to look after us as we were so 'sick'.  At this point he felt much better...must have been the lemsip. Yesterday evening he was his old self again...that lemsip worked wonders.

Today at work I got a text..."I got day off.  Lemsips and back to bed for me".

I dashed home...told him I felt the same and jumped into bed coughing, spluttering and sniffling.  I'm happy to say he took another Lemsip and it seems to have cured him.

The moral of the story is that MANFLU must be nipped in the bud as it can lead to MAMFLU -a strain of the virus that only affects women and can be more serious.  It is important that it is controlled before the wet tissue and rubbing forehead symptoms begin.  If you can't beat them join them and if all else falls call in the mother in law to nurse hubby back to health.

International Woman of Mystery

After a busy week of being bombarded with who, where, what when, I decided I needed a new job.  My week summed up in questions:

Where were you? eh the toilet
What are you doing? eh I'm sitting down for the first time to day.
Can you please just.... wash it, iron it, pick it up, collect it, buy it, mind it?
Then when I went to work for a break...I was asked (by my family)..what were you doing being 09:00am and 09:15..I didn't hear you...were you making coffee?
Is that a new...dress, coat, top, scarf?
Who was that on the phone?
How long were you on the phone for?



So I got myself a new job....International Woman of Mystery
Where were you? That's classified
What are you doing? Also classified
Can you please just....? Sorry I'm on an assignment...and that's classifed also
Where where you between 09:00am and 09:15am? Not allowed to say...classified
Is that a new...dress, coat, top, scarf? No it's a disguise...not allowed to say anymore....classified.

Who was that on the phone?...Classified
How long were you on the phone?....eh..yes you guessed it..it's also classified.

The thing with the new job is I could be called away at a moments notice on a secret mission....Paris, Spain, New York? who knows...As it would be really unprofessional to bring my husband and children to work, they will have to stay at home!






INTERNATIONAL WOMAN OF MYSTERY
THE ROLE (not unlike the role of an Intelligence Officer)
Decision making will be part of your daily life. An International Woman of Mystery should be able to identify and solve or delegate problems with creative solutions to their partners or family members.  

An incisive intellect and finely balanced judgement are essential, as are outstanding verbal and written communication skills. You must be able to demonstrate resilience and the ability to cope with setbacks, as well as the ability to work well in a family unit and quickly establish rapport with a wide range of friends, neighbours and a good babysitter you can trust.

Analytical and highly organised, you will have a superb eye for detail, and the perfect balance of sensitivity and confidence. Discretion and integrity are also crucial qualities.

We encourage all employees to develop the full range of their capabilities, increasing their personal job satisfaction and improving their prospects of promotion.Therefore it is important that you take time out for yourself to read, get your nails done or part take in any other activity (s) you enjoy e.g. shopping.

Being an International Woman of Mystery is a rewarding, stimulating and challenging career. You’ll turn your analytical skills to a unique challenge.  Making informed recommendations as to the directions your partner/ children should take next. Results will not come easily, but each intelligence breakthrough you make could prove a crucial turning point.


You’ll also understand how to identify when someone is telling you lies using a range of tools and techniques. Creative and able to think clearly under pressure, you’re comfortable explaining complex information to non-technical audiences and able to work within a team.

Discretion and integrity are crucial qualities. Few people will know about the role that you will play. 

Owing to the sensitivity of our work, we do not publicly disclose the identities of our staff. You should not discuss your application, other than with your partner or a close family member.

Santa Baby....

Dear Santa,
I do hope that you, Mrs Claus and the Elves are keeping well and that you are not working too hard.

I have been a really good girl this year.  I did go on strike and refuse to do my husband's washing for a few months but I'm sure you'll agree that action was required as he left it on the floor and not in the laundry basket. There was also the time I fed him potato waffles, beans and fish fingers a few days in a row but to be fair he hadn't wired a light in the bathroom.  Santa, drastic action was required as I left the house on numerous occasions looking like Aunt Sally from Worzel Gommidge (blusher overload) due to the poor lighting conditions. And then there was my birthday....

This Christmas I have decided to be proactive and help you (or my husband) chose the perfect gift(s).

Please can I have:

*  a new laptop with a battery that lasts longer than 1 hour and NEVER loses my work
*  a pair of sunglasses (I particularly like the ones the girl is wearing in the Tiffany catalogue)
*  a pair of black Christian Louboutin shoes size 6.5 (Don't worry about the height of the heel, I'll manage)
*  a bracelet from Tiffany's (not unlike the one on my vision board, I enclosed a picture for reference).
*  A Black Lexus car (refer to vision board also)

*  and a surprise

I look forward to your visit on Christmas Eve and will definitely leave out some carrots and water for your reindeer.  As you are probably aware they have changed the laws re. drinking alcohol and driving.  I'm sure this applies to flying also so I will leave some milk and cookies out for you.

Thank you so much Santa.

Love & hugs to Mrs. Claus, the Elves and the Reindeers,
Love
Louise
xxxxxx


P.S There is also a cheque on my vision board for €100 million Euro (I'm quite sure the AIB will accept a cheque from the Bank of Lapland).

Dreams really do come true.....

Sometimes 140 characters just aren't enough to say what I think...

This year I sat on the sidelines of the Twitterverse and watched a lovely lady by the name of Maria Duffy's dream come true.  Like myself Maria is a Mammy and like myself, she had dreams of one day writing a book.  

Last year I went to a writing workshop given by the very talented Vanessa O' Loughlin (www.writing.ie) and she advised us all to join Twitter.  Personally I just didn't get the whole Twitter thing.  I joined up and sat staring at the computer screen not knowing what to write or what to say.  My daughter who was 6 at the time would just sign loudly and say "Ah Mam, will you just tweet" and would make bird noises over my shoulder.  Anyway enough about me.  I finally got the hang of it and one of the lovely people I followed was @mduffywriter.  

I read Maria'sWrite now Mom blog and her Hello Magazine 'Stars in the Twitterverse' blog and of course followed her daily ups and downs...the important things..like breakfast with the girls in Avoca, shoe shopping and of course the Mammy dilemmas of ear piercing, school runs and such what things.

Some days Maria would be at home writing and fulfiling the role of Mother, wife, daughter, sister and some days she would be interviewing her celebrity friends - Gino D'Acampo, Eamonn Holmes & Ruth Langsford, Keith Barry, Sharon Marshall, Wonderland, Jedward, Cathy Kelly, Matt  Johnson to name but a few.  Her interviews are warm, funny and Maria asks the questions I want to know the answers to. Maria is also a great Poet and one of my favourites is about Fairies.

One day Maria told us she had an announcement.  I have to admit the suspense was killing me.  A day or two later it is was revealed she had bagged herself a 2 book deal.  Well I cheered and being the loyal Twitter friend that I am, toasted her success with a large glass of wine.  

Over the next few months Maria kept us posted on the 'editing', the cover and the launch and of course shoe shopping, her daughter's brownie making skills, braces, summer camps and everyday life.

Finally the day of the launch arrived and I have to say I was so proud to be there watching this lovely, down to earth, witty lady surrounded by her family and friends launching her first book.  The truly delicious Mr. Keith Barry was on hand to do the honours and what a great job he did too.

'Any dream will do' is a heart-warming and witty novel.  It entered the Irish book charts at no. 9 this week and I have been reliably informed that it has even been sold in Brazil so what you waiting for......buy it...you know you want...  The acknowledgements even brought a tear to my eye.

So you see 'Dreams really do come true' ....It could be YOU!!!! (or me..fingers crossed ;)

You know your a Mammy when....

Were you there? On Wednesday I went to Business Mums Unite Conference  in Nottingham.  Now I have to tell you I had two reasons for going.  Apart from meeting news people and listening to the various speakers, I secretly was looking forward to having time to myself.  If you follow me on Twitter @mammydolittle, you may remember seeing various references to #doingashirley.  Doing a Shirley is my code used for packing my bags, leaving my husband and kids behind and flying (by aeroplane) to somewhere nice.  Previous destinations on my 'wish list' have included Greece, Italy, Spain and Portugal...Nottingham was actually not on my wish list but hey it didn't matter it was one night away from home, cooking, cleaning, ironing, taxi ing, supervising homework, refereeing arguments and all the many other Mammy/Wifey jobs I do.  As all Mammies know our job description includes ...and anything else that may need to be done.

I got up on Tuesday morning and packed the kids off to school.  I hoovered, made beds and ironed uniforms for the next day with a spring in my step.  I even left them a little treat on the kitchen table.  With my conscience clear, my bag packed and make up on, I headed off to the airport.  I was so excited.  Isn't it amazing the things you take for granted before motherhood.  I arrived, went through security, browsed duty free and then found a cosy corner to enjoy a coffee and read my book.

I heard various children calling  "Mam" and I immediately looked around.  When I realised they were not my children, I relaxed back into my chair.  Then a little girl toddled over in my direction with her peppa pig toy.  We chatted all about Peppa, Mummy Pig, Daddy Pig and George and jumping into muddy puddles.

After a while I walked around and checked that my stuffed suitcase would indeed fit in the hand luggage thingy.  A lady with a baby walked by and wow were my reflexes good because when baby dropped his soother, I caught it before it touched the ground.  I'm sure that's a skill that could be used in some Olympic sport...just not sure which one.

Waiting at the departure gate, I realised I was scoping the room for children.  For anyone who was in Dublin Airport last Tuesday and saw a 'lady' reading a Denise Deegan book "And by the way"  trying to engage with small children, please note I am not a weirdo, I was not trying to abduct anyones children (two are plenty), I must have been subconsciously still in Mammy mode.

I made it to Nottingham and there is a lot be said for some time and space even if it's just for one night.  The next day was the Business Mums Unite Conference which I will tell you all about in my next post.  I met some really motivating and inspiring ladies.

When I arrived home that evening the kids were asleep so I sneaked in and gave them a kiss on the head.  The next morning my 8 year old son said "Mammy I missed you so much, I cried for you, I couldn't bear another day without you.  I tried to stay awake last night just to see your face".   My 7 year old daughter said "I cried for you too Mam, what did you bring us back" .  She's a lot tougher than her brother.

The moral of the story is absence makes the heart grow fonder.  The thought of #doingashirley seems less attractive..for now.....